"Most intense disappointment of my career": Kohli reflects on Australia tour struggles

India were thrashed in the Border-Gavaskar Trophy by 3-1. The series was played from November 22 last year to January 5 this year.

Much like that challenging phase in England, Kohli struggled with his vulnerability outside the off stump throughout the Border-Gavaskar Trophy. Despite beginning the series on a strong note with an unbeaten century in India's victory at Perth, his form quickly dipped. In eight of his remaining innings, he was dismissed edging deliveries to the wicketkeeper or slip cordon, managing just 190 runs at an average of 23.75 across nine innings.

"If you ask me the intensity of how disappointed I've been, the most recent Australia tour would be the one that's most fresh. So it might feel the most intense to me," Kohli said at the RCB Innovation Lab Indian Sports Summit, as quoted from ESPNcricinfo.

"For a long time, the tour of England in 2014 bothered me the most. But I can't look at it that way. I might not have an Australia tour again in four years. I don't know. You have to make peace with whatever's happened in your life. In 2014, I still had the chance to go in 2018 and do what I did. It might not have been the case. It might have been another blunder. But it didn't turn out that way," he added.

"So, there's no such guarantees in life. I think when you are at a stage for a long period of time, when you perform, people get used to your performances. They start feeling for you more than you feel sometimes. This has to be corrected," he said.

Kohli admitted that the mounting failures in Australia led to a sense of urgency, making him desperate to rectify his mistakes with every passing innings. However, he eventually realized the importance of accepting disappointment rather than rushing into changes without proper reflection.

"Once you start taking on the energy and the disappointment from the outside, then you start burdening yourself way more," Kohli said, as quoted from ESPNcricinfo.

"And then you start thinking about things, like 'I've got two or three days left on this tour, I need to make an impact now.' And you start getting more desperate. That's something I've surely experienced in Australia as well," he added.

He noted, "Because I got a good score in the first Test. I thought, right, 'let's go.' There's going to be another big series for me. It doesn't turn out that way. For me, it's just about the acceptance of, 'okay fine, this is what happened. I'm going to be honest with myself. Where do I want to go? What are my energy levels like?'

"I'm not sitting here in 48 hours or 72 hours-time to make a decision like 'let me go.' Spend time with family. Just sit down. Let everything calm down. And see how I feel in a few days. And within five-six days I was excited to go to the gym. I was like, okay fine. It's all good. I don't need to tweet anything right now," he said.

"Me playing the game is not for achievement," Kohli said, as quoted from ESPNcricinfo.

"It pretty much comes down to just the pure joy and enjoyment and love for the game. And as long as that love is intact, I will continue to play the game. I have to be honest about that with myself. Because the competitive streak doesn't allow you to find the answer," he said.

"Recently, I had a very interesting conversation with Rahul Dravid when he was our coach. He said you always have to stay in touch with yourself. Figure out where you are placed in your life. And the answer is not that easy, because you might be going through a lean phase and you feel like 'this is it.' But it might not be," he added

"But then when it was time, he said my competitive streak would not allow me to accept it. Maybe one more. Maybe six more months, whatever. So, I think it's a fine balance. And you have to just pray and hope that you get clarity when it comes. At this point in my life, I feel pretty happy. I still love playing the game. Don't get nervous, I'm not making any announcements, as of now, everything is fine," Kohli noted. (ANI)